Friday, 03.15.2002
Role Models? For as long as I can remember, I have been fascinated by the lives of the rich and famous. As a preteen, I would wonder what it was like to be an actress on the TV sitcoms that I loved watching. I would buy every issue of Bop (teeny bopper idol magazine) as soon as it hit the magazine racks at the grocery store.

** FLASHBACK! ** Aqua Net 'dos!

(l to r) Me, Byron, Shari. Byron was a member of Broken Silence, a heavy metal Christian band. Shari and I were avid fans. Notice the t-shirts. Circa 1990's.

In Jr. High and high school, I would usually opt to buy magazines that contained guitar tips and TAB like Guitar for the Practicing Musician and Guitar World, but would still enjoyed reading the rock gossip rags like as Circus and others that have long slipped my mind. Pinups of my favorite rockers hung on my bedroom wall, the faces of Bon Jovi, Stryper, Def Leppard, and countless other rockers looked upon me from their pedestals during my fanatical rock'n'roll years.

To this day, I still have a fascination with the famous. Mind you, I don't go out and buy those gossip magazines or scotch tape pinups of Richie Sambora on my bedroom walls anymore -- but I will indulge myself in an episode of "Cribs" or "Behind the Music" from time to time. 

Tonight's "Behind the Music" program featured Motley Crue, perhaps one of the most notorious heavy metal bands of the 80's/90's. Their escapades were straight out of the rock star's dream: sex, drugs and rock'n'roll. "Live fast, die young" was their motto and it's no surprise that because of their antics, a couple of the members actually came pretty close to dying.

The show interviewed the band members and those who worked closely with them. As they showed clips of the MTV videos for the hit songs during their heyday, I flashbacked to the days when I would have my walkman blaring Motley Crue songs straight into my eardrum. 

As I watched the members, one by one, telling of their immoral lives, I couldn't help but to feel embarrassed. Embarrassed because I realized that I had once idolized these men, wishing that I could play a drum solo like Tommy Lee, work an audience like Vince Neil, play amazing guitar riffs like Mick Mars or slap a bass like Nikki Sixx. I looked over to Hubby who raised his eyebrow at me and  said, "I can't believe you actually liked these guys."

Sure, I saw the "Girls, Girls, Girls" video which recreated a scene at a strip club, complete with scantily clad, g-string wearing strippers and saw their live concert footage where countless women would do booby flashes at the camera. Songs like "Dr. Feelgood" which was obviously about drug use was appreciated for its catchy hooks and heavy guitar riffs that I so enjoyed. Somehow, I was able to overlook all of these bad influences and write it off as typical rock'n'roll behavior.

These images didn't influence me to go to concerts and flash my training bra at anyone. Listening to these songs never made me once think about seeking out my own neighborhood Dr. Feelgood in search of a hit. I never felt compelled to drink, take drugs, or have sex with every schmoe who was willing just because my favorite rock stars were doing it.

(Circa late 1980's) Me and my favorite pink electric guitar.

Sure, I was a closet rock star wannabe and I practiced my guitars (electric & acoustic) and drum set incessantly -- much to the dismay of my neighbors, I'm sure. I aspired one day to be a rock'n'roll guitarist (the first famous kick arse Asian female guitarist!) or at least to be somehow involved in the music industry, whether it was as a sound engineer or record producer. Although I modeled my guitar playing habits after them, I never once thought about modeling my lifestyle after these raunchy rockers. Somehow, I knew better.

I also knew better to eventually grow out of my dream to be a rock star -- or even a professional musician. After high school, reality inevitably set in. But every now and then, I still like to daydream about being onstage with my pink electric guitar, playing riffs that would make even Joe Satriani envious. The first kick arse Asian female guitarist...

Time for that reality pill, please.

.top.

::Byte Me::
Breakfast: None
Lunch: Furikake Mahi Mahi from Kakaako Kitchen
Dinner: Chicken Pho

::Bits 'n' Bytes::
Moving: None
Feeling: Very fortunate
Hearing: Bon Jovi, "Crossroads" CD
Tasting: Oolong Tea
Pondering: Holy cow, with influences like that as a teen, it's a wonder that I didn't have a more sordid past!

 ::Random Donna Bit::
When I'm listening to favorite hard rock/heavy metal songs in the privacy of my den, you might find me with my head bobbing up and down to the beat, playing air guitar riffs or fills on my air drums. It's pretty funny because it's largely subconscious, but the old reflexes and tendencies are still there... even after all of these years. 

::Gratitudes::
Today, I'm thankful for the life that God has blessed me with: surrounded by family, friends, and wonderful opportunities. 

::Show your Love::
Please be a dear and  indulge yourself in a few grains from the rice bowl before you leave. Your clicks help to rank me higher on the Rice Bow Journal directory and that makes me happy. :)